you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
