I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
