sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
