I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
These tits shall not be calmed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
