i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
