Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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