i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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