Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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