just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
this hospital has no fireball
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
