the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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