I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
