drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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