Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
