Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
