vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize