Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
