And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
