I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
