Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
