I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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