I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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