I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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