I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
