Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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