ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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