Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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