So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
