Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
