She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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