You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
People in love make me want to vomit
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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