did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ketchup is God's man juice
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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