Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
