Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
