when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
