Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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