i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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