I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He has the fingertips of a God
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