so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
