I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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