Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize