and you said cock pushups were impossible
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
