Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
