don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
