i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
