I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
bring money and cleavage
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
