I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
