he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
