I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
