ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
