drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
