shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
