I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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