I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
