There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
