Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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