Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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