She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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